Reality Mom

It seems in our culture today, and especially amongst Christian women there is this idea we must be perfect. If not actually "be" perfect, at least appear like we are. I do not have enough smoke and mirrors in my possession to make me look even adequate, let alone perfect on most days.

In my little world or reality, my house is often a mess, my twin teen boys snarky and hard to motivate. I still need to lose at minimum another 25-30 lbs to look normal and seem to be dragging my feet or my behind on that one. My husband works long hours at work and then again at home. He gets lost in his "projects," leaving me feeling frustrated and alone. My garden grows weeds better than anything else, we have too many animals on this farm that looks like Ma and Pa Kettle live here and I just get so frustrated and overwhelmed by it all. I need, no really I must just fall at God's feet everyday. If not for prayer I would be in a very quiet place with nice soft walls! I have become increasingly dependent on my Heavenly Father to simply get through a day. That is reality!

I really get annoyed when a young Mom trying to do her best is left feeling like she is failing. I tell her. We all fail, everyday. Do not compare yourself to Mrs. Whoosy in the pew to the left. She has her own struggles and issues. WE ALL DO! I do not care how lovely her home is or how seemingly well behaved her children are. Nobody is free from the scars of the hurts we all face as we stumble through life.

Just get up in the morning, love God, your husband and babies and put one foot in front of the other until bedtime. We are NOT Martha Stewart, we do not need to be gourmet cooks or financial geniuses. We just need to love.
I am still learning the importance of loving and showing Grace and Mercy to others. Even others I do not want to show any of those to. I pray for a Servants Heart, so I can love my husband, children and others the way God wants me to, not MY way!

Of course I have those days when I've doled out the love and encouragement and care and I am left feeling empty and alone. Mom's rarely get back what they give out.I know it is in the job description somewhere in very very fine print. THAT is precisely when we turn to Jesus or Mary and lean on them. I tend to lean hard. They hold me up.

Reality is this...Life is messy, I hurt others, they hurt me, I struggle with endless issues, I fight sin and lose every day. BUT! Because of HIS grace and mercy, I get to start new everyday. I get to keep growing and learning. God is good! Blessed be the name of the Lord!

Oh Lord make me humble, help me love, give me a Servants Heart. Let others see you in me. Less of me Lord More of You!

Why THE PILL is EVIL!!!!!

I have managed to live all my adult life without contraception. I avoided the Pill like the plague. I knew it was an abortifacient and that it was, for lack of better word, inherently evil. Unfortunately due to some rather miserable Menopausal symptoms I caved and took the pill for 5 whole days. It was supposed to be 3 weeks. It was a miserable 5 days. I have long eschewed Birth Control. Jim and I believe God is in control of families and their size. Yes, He does give you the Grace and ability to handle however many you end up with. I know this because despite some interesting issues I am still relatively intact after parenting 8. RELATIVELY! It is our sick society that tells you any more that 2 and you are going to be miserable. Even Christian/Catholic friends see more than 2 or 3 children as a burden.

Scripture tells us that Debt is a curse and Children are a blessing. In our culture we apply for a curse and refuse blessings. What is wrong with THAT picture!

I even read an article recently that talked about how women on the pill are making bad choices in men. The pill tricks your body into thinking it is pregnant. Therefore, your natural ability to choose a suitable mate for yourself is inhibited by hormones. Now that is not science, just an opinion. Still it does make one wonder with the decline of American Morals in the last 50 years. This year the pill is 50! It has not freed women, it has enslaved us into believing the most treasured and cherished and difficult job on earth is a hassle. That our precious sexuality is up for grabs because we will not be burdened with a child until we choose. We choose!?!
God is THE AUTHOR OF LIFE. Amazing things happen when He is in control.

Women must take their bodies and souls back. Femininity, fertility etc are gifts from God. Instead of squashing it and competing with men and talking about reproductive freedom (aka the pill) we must find true freedom as whole women. Not, medicated, sterilized, gender neutral drones. Our power is in our femininity, not in our ability to be like men.

I pray daily for the eradication of the pill and the end to abortion. What have we come to?

My Happy Place!

I love this picture for so many reasons! 1. Because it shows my 2 eldest children as they were 20 years ago. 2. It has my friend Krista's 2 girls in it, now grown and beautiful young women. 3. Because it was Grandma and Grandpa's cabin at Priest Lake. So many times I would pack up the kids, some PB & J and Hot Dogs and we would live life at the lake. That cabin was my sanity and safe haven during the demise of my 1st marriage in 1989/90. It was the one "home" that was consistent during my late childhood and adoloescence. It broke my heart when my parents sold it.
I still cannot get enough of Priest Lake. I live as close as possible making sure Jim has a reasonable commute. In the Summer and Fall I often take off and make the hour drive to have some solitude. The lake is still my happy place. Jim proposed to me there. We camp there as often as possible. Our kids learned to fish and swim there. It truly is my "Happy Place". If I disappear this summer, you will know where to find me!

The Men in My Life

I was up late the other night. We had company. Well this friend really isn't company. He is more like family and we love his visits and great talks. I saw him off and as I was heading for bed I stopped to check on the children, long asleep. I was reminded of how I used to do that every night when they were smaller. You know how when you have a newborn and you are constantly checking to see if they are still breathing. Not so much with teens. Still, there I was Wed. night checking on my no longer little angels.

The Lord blessed me with a precious moment. I looked at the sleeping faces of my teen boys and realized in such a short time they will be men. Their faces still soft and voices changing I see little boys, yet that is not true. They are growing and changing and seeking independence from me. That is bittersweet. I will not emasculate my boys or hold them emotional hostages. I want them to grow in to strong independent men. BUT! My Mother's heart wants to cling and remember and shower then with hugs and kisses. OH HOW THEY HATE THAT. So I refrain. Remembering the funny little boys with dirty hands and snotty faced grins.

My prayer is this...Lord in the midst of the disrespect and rudeness and eye rolling, help me to see the little boys they were and the men they will be. Draw them ever closer to you. Thank you Lord for the men in my life.

My husband who is unlike any other, his overwhelming and unconditional love for me.

My 5 handsome healthy sons, may their lives be a glory to you.

For my brother who is a dear friend. May he seek you fervently!

For a friend who is like a brother. Protect him Lord. Daily reveal his worth to him. Give him the strength to do your work.



How blessed I am!

A Girl Can Dream Can't She!

Someday I will have a bathroom with a door. A real door with a bolt lock. A door close enough to the floor that little children and small animals can not stick their paws underneath and plaintively whine or meow. A real door that 13 yo Burglars in training can not open with a wooden Bar B Q skewer, so they are certain you heard them ask you for something to eat. Evidently 7 meals a day is not enough for them.
I have a bedroom door that locks, but the Master Bath has no door. Yet, one more thing on my Big Postal Boy's "Honey Do" list. I love my Bathroom with its big jetted tub with just enough of an edge for really cool candles, my glasses and some good books. You see I think of it as a retreat. A mini spa for Mom. My children see it as a place they know they can find Mom on a hard day.
I realize that by the time I get a real door with a real lock, no one will come knocking!

Peter the Great!

Had to throw a pic of my grandson in.

He really is the worlds most beautiful baby. Just sayin'

Easter Vigil Pics

Jim being confirmed. AMAZING!

Little angels (cough cough)await their Baptism.

Thomas being Baptised with the required Holy Goggles!

MORE PICS TO COME AFTER SOME EDITING!